This website has archived text files from the 80's and early 90's

http://www.textfiles.com/humor/

funny stuff

(also new cartoon coming in <1 month)

These are all like a year old I think

Fuck me I'm 20

I mean goddamn

Hey everypony!

In my last newspost, I talked about making the longest cartoon on Newgrounds, well any jack-off can talk about doing things, it takes a dedicated jack-off to make shit happen and that's what I'm gonna do. I've currently written 25 out of the required approximately 330 pages, it's gonna be a while but I've got a system figured out:

I write the grand elaborate final scene first, then I create backstories to justify how each character ends up there. Or in more detail 'what events have to transpire for this character to be in this location at this time with this object with this mentality.' And during that chracter's backstory, they interact with other characters and other events that require setups, and I just keep on writin'.

Did I explain that well? I don't think so, an example would probably help but I'd rather not give anything away, well maybe the title, which I'm pretty pleased with: "Kerfuffle Crescendo."

There won't be regular updates on KC, like I said I'm not gonna reveal anything related to the events or characters or anything, the only thing I could update you with is the page count, but who gives a shit?

I'm gonna sequester a while and the next you'll hear from it I'll have a completed screenplay and be looking for VAs.

Scrabble Strike Nautical 2 hasn't had much work done on it in months, the reason is that I made SSN1 with some cunts* from high school and trying to get the gang back together has been like trying to piss through a cheerio. If it can't be helped, I'll have to re-cast some roles. I will be making that cartoon no matter what because the script is a straight banger. I'd like to apologize to @sailorsilverstar for sitting on her completed lines for an eternity, that was some very optimistic planning on my part.

Here's a sneak peek of Nyaatural Selection:

I'll be putting out an ad for voice actresses for NS (paid!) soonish, keep an eye on the collabinator and voice acting forum.

I'm hosting the RIP general collab, more info here

I was deleting some files a while back and I found this drawing dated as late October 2021**:

complete SOVL overload, my skills have clearly deteriorated since this; my apotheosis.

And that's about it, MetalSlayer69 checkin' out, remindin' ye*** to always keep on keepin' it real

*has a different meaning in Australia

**That's when the photo was taken, drawing could be even older

*** It pisses me off that the english language USED TO have a commonplace word meaning you (plural), we have "y'all" which sorta fills that role but you sound like a fucking inbred hick everytime you say it. Everytime you say "ye" you feel like a fucking king adressing the peasantry

Something I've been thinking on and off about since August is uploading the longest cartoon on Newgrounds, ever since I found out the current record holder is 5 and a half hours of GoAnimate trash.

The logistics of making such an inordinately long cartoon are crazy. i'd have to animate 30 seconds worth of footage per day to get it done in around 1.5 - 2 years. Goes without saying if I pulled this off the animation wouldn't be good, but there are tricks to making low framerates look alright, plus some animations like walk cycles could be re-used. I don't think 30 seconds of not good but good enough to pass judgement animation per day is undoable. But what the hell do I do to fill 5.5 hours of footage? I don't wanna do random skits with no connecting narrative, because that wouldn't benefit from being long as shit. It'd be like a fucking 6 hour Family Guy funny moments compilation. There's no buildup to anything because every scene is independent of every other scene.

So the idea I've been marinating is thus: Have a lot of different plot threads, which build up an elaborate Rube Goldberg contraption of setups. Then have one final scene where all these seemingly unrelated characters and events set off in comedic extravagance.

The point of comparison here would probably be Curb Your Enthusiasm, where each season has something being built up in the background of each episode (the restuarant, Larry being adopted, the cafe, etc) which pays off in the season finale. (though not even an entire season of Curb hits 5.5 hours).

So now I've turned what was once just a challenge in animating to a challenge in writing as well. This would require a script about 19 times the longest script I've written.

For something like this, I'd have to write the ending first and nothing's come to me yet.

inb4 'hurr durr just make it a collab ecks dee'

No, If some kid with GoAnimate could do it by himself I can too.

Can I pull it off? Will my sanity survive? Will little Billy get rescued from the well in time for the ball game?

Find out on the next episode of Dragonball Z!

Production

The Mutt Merchant's Mishap

collab with @Tawaki6ixty5ive

Nyaatural Selection

When a catgirl school shooter finds demons stealing her kills she changes targets. Dark comedy / action.

Scrabble Strike Nautical 2

Private conducts interviews for new crewmates, meanwhile Captain gets into a drag race, meanwhile the Time Traveller attempts to break out of the dungeon.

guessing the order these will release in is like betting on horses.

Pre-Production

Officer Butterthighs 2 (drafting)

an action-comedy extravaganza in an undecided number of pages!

Breakdown Frame (completed screenplay) (23 pages!)

Sitcom about an animator working at a failing studio

When It's Cold and When It's Dark (completed screenplay)

Comedy based on real events from the early Norwegian black metal scene

Poker? I Hardly Know 'er! (incomplete screenplay)

Poker tournament final table with wacky characters